If you’ve clicked on this article, then congratulations–you’re a rarity among the online dating world. It happens. I say it is a rarity because men work like trees in the springtime: they cannot help but spread their seeds as far and wide as possible. Remember, it’s in men’s genetic code to breed. They’re not fully aware of this at all times, especially when their set goal is to find a sexual partner.
Not that men don’t want romance. Quite the opposite usually; they may WANT sex now, but eventually they will come around to the idea of romance. Besides the point, if for some reason you, as a woman, are not getting dates or even messages from guys is truly an enigma. No, stop saying it’s because you’re ugly or that men want a beautiful, sexy, blonde-haired woman with an hour-glass body. It just may be your profile itself. Take a look, and see if you’re making any of these 10 mistakes as to why you’re not getting messages, dates, or even a guy to stay after the first date from meeting online.
#10: You’re not showing your face, or your pictures look too good to be true (catfish alert!)
Catfishing is the act of faking your online identity, mainly by using pictures of someone else rather than your own, in order to obtain a relationship with someone. Never, ever do this. Catfishing can be the worst possible thing to do to anyone. Not only are you wasting their time, you will hurt someone in the process and end up making yourself unhappy. If you are using a fake profile to find love, delete your account immediately. If you’re not being a catfish, then perhaps you’re only showing your “goodies”–chest, behind, and body. Or, maybe you’re using a picture of your cat. Whatever it is, if it’s not your face, you might get a message or two, but if the guy has to question your identity, something will not feel right with him and he’ll turn the other way eventually.
#9: You already have a boyfriend/husband
Why are you even on a dating site in the first place? If you’re looking for friends, fine–make sure they are not in any shape or form romantic and making it clear in your bio or when someone messages you. If you’re looking for another partner to add to the relationship, please make sure your partner is fully aware of this. Don’t even try to trick guys saying that it’s okay for you to be in an open relationship if your boyfriend/husband doesn’t know. That is called cheating. Find out why you don’t want to be with your current partner, break up with them if you’re not interested anymore and it’s not worth it, and then come back online to look for someone else.
#8: You’re (un)intentionally asking for a hookup (cleavage, body-photos only, sexy clothes, etc)
Maybe you want to show off. Maybe you look cute in that pink cut-off top with the black mini-skirt. Perhaps you think your boobs (and body) is the only way to get a man’s attention. Totally understandable–just don’t be surprised if you get the wrong kind of attention, and find yourself with guys who only want one thing from you. Don’t even think you’re getting a date or even a boyfriend from this. Once your clothes are off, you will become the object of their main drive: sex. That’s it. If you want a guy to treat you with respect, dress like you respect yourself first.
#7: You stink future cat lady
Or dog lady. Or bird lady. Or turtle lady. Whatever animal has your eye, more than likely that’s all guys will see, too. Pictures of nothing but your cats, loving details about your dog, why you would save your turtle rather than your boyfriend if both of them were drowning, et cetera. Point is, if your animals are more important to you than a person, they won’t find value in you as a girlfriend. Try talking about you more rather than your precious kitty named Floofie.
#6: You’re coming off as needy and desperate
This is a huge turn-off to guys. Your pictures may look fine, but your bio says something like “I want to marry someone right now and have our first five kids in four years.” If you’re already jumping the gun without going to the shooting range first, not only will you miss every shot, you might end up shooting yourself in the foot. In other words, every relationship has to start small. A date, getting to know each other, giving time to unravel something truly amazing. Not to mention that if you’re desperate for a man, it means you’re not ready for a man. Click here for more info about this issue.
#5: Another guy is in the picture
As I’ve mentioned in reason #1 for guys, if we see a picture with a girl in it, it can make us jealous or feel the need to compete, especially if we feel the girl is prettier than us. The same thing can happen if there’s a guy in one or more of your photos. If it’s your boyfriend or spouse, refer to reason #9. If the other male is a family member or a friend, make it clear in your bio. Otherwise, you could confuse guys on whether you’re single or not.
#4: You don’t specify your gender
This is a big warning sign, especially for straight men. They need to know that you’re a girl–not a man dressed up as a woman, or vice-versa. If you are transgendered, make it clear in your bio. Be honest, and be genuine. Do not attempt to catfish a fly guy because you’re a woman on the inside, but your genitalia says otherwise (no offense to any transgendered individuals). If someone has to guess off the bat what gender you are, it will deter potentials to look elsewhere.
#3: You don’t smile
Smiling makes you look attractive no matter what you look like. It can be pretty infectious, too, so seeing you happy makes those around you happy. If you look dreary, sad, or angry in your photos, not a lot of guys would find you virtually approachable. Would you swipe yes to a guy with a poker face, even if he is attractive? Probably, but smiling increases your chances at the very least. Duck-faces do not count!
#2: You wear too much makeup
Make-up is supposed to enhance your natural beauty, not make you look like a clown. Besides, most men would prefer a girl with no make-up. Why hide your face in contour when you can show the real you? Regardless, if you look model-gorgeous in the face and he’s used to you looking a certain way, how do you think he’d feel after you take the make-up off? Don’t be fake.
#1: You have a kid in the picture(s)
The one thing a guy would rather not take care of more in this whole world is another man’s kid. Now, if the child is a sibling, a cousin, a friend’s child, a nephew or niece, make it known. If the child is indeed yours, make it known. The worst thing you can do is hide the fact that you are a mother because if you do end up getting a relationship, it will only cause strain and the relationship itself will be built on lies. Never hide your life from a potential partner. Though it’s uncommon, you could find someone who wouldn’t mind being a father figure. If you’re not a mom, only show pictures of you. No one will be able to tell if the child in your photo is yours or not just by looking at it!