(For Guys) 10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Messaged on Tinder, Badoo, and Other Dating Sites

Let’s face it: girls are picky. Whether we like to admit it or not, we are. 

I’ve heard time and time again on why a guy can’t even get a lasting conversation with a girl or even a response period online. Chances are, there’s nothing wrong with the women–it’s something wrong with your profile.

Read on to find out if you are making critical mistakes for your chance at romance.


All You Show Is Your Abs, a Stack of Money, Your Car…Anything Besides Your Face


The main purpose of getting on a dating site is to find a person to date. They may be impressive to you or you may think that it attracts the girls, but most girls don’t care about your stuff. Unless you’re looking for a gold-digger, most girls will skip your profile without hesitation. They want to date you, not just your body or possessions. Lastly, we shouldn’t have to ask for a picture of you.


You Only Have One Picture of Yourself


Just like you like to browse through more pictures of a potential romantic interest, women want to see more of you, too. Pictures of different angles of your face, ones that show your personality like you doing your hobbies, you in different outfits, etc. One picture is simply unsatisfying and could raise flags on whether you’re the real thing or not.


You Don’t Smile in Your Pictures

poker face

A woman loves to see a guy who smiles. It shows confidence, that you’re generally happy despite any stresses in your life, and it looks attractive. If you’re just showing a poker face, an angry one, or you being a sad-sack, it just turns us off. At least try to smile in your pictures, even if you hate smiling–I’m sure it’ll bring more matches and messages to your inbox.


You Take Shady or Dark Pictures of Yourself


If you do this because it covers the flaws you might think your face has, it won’t work. Just like reason #10, if she can’t see your face, she won’t contact or even like you. If you’re attempting to make yourself seem dark and mysterious, that’s perfectly fine–as long as your main picture shows your face clearly. If dark pictures of your face are all you have, it might draw women away rather than coming to you out of curiosity. We shouldn’t have to ask for a clear picture of you.


You Have Little to No Description About Yourself


Women need to know more about you other than all you do is work or you just smoke and drink all day. This could be up for debate, because a woman could message you to get to know you, too. However, she at least wants to know off the bat your relationship status, if you have any kids, religious views, your ethnicity, and what you’re looking for on the site. If you’re just looking for hook-ups and she wants to find a relationship, it’ll just make it easier for you to be upfront about it rather than waste her time.


Your Description About You Is Negative


Let’s say you did take the time to write about yourself, and it’s making you sound like you hate yourself, that you’re boring, sad, lonely, desperate, or that you hate everything and everyone. No woman wants a Negative Nathaniel (if your name is Nathaniel, no offense! Was just trying to be funny…). A negative guy will only drive women away. Women want positivity, someone who is happy with themselves so that they can make us happy being with you. Find a therapist, and do things to help YOU find a better outlook on life. Building self-confidence will surely make you look 1000 times more attractive.


You Are Just Using The Site For Sex


There is a difference between a dating site and a hook-up site. Dating sites are meant for people who want to find potential romantic partners or friends who turn to that later on. If you write in your description that is all you’re looking for, women will skip you. If the woman finds out later in the chat that is all you’re looking for, she will stop talking to you. There are plenty of free sites out there that are just for sexual encounters (click here for a list)Do us women all a favor and go to those sex sites instead and remove those apps that are just for friends/dating/relationships.


You Jump The Gun on Wanting to Hang Out


As soon as you message or get a message from someone, and they live nearby, you immediately ask to hang out. That is a big no-no. To us, that just means what is written on reason #4–you just want sex. Don’t even try to manipulate her by saying all you want is company, that you will promise her gifts, that you want to get to know her more in person, and don’t even try to use the lame excuse that you’re bored. The online environment provides a safe space for both parties to get to know one another. If you want to sound like a gentleman, offer to take her out on a date that isn’t your house or car. Otherwise, she will get creeped out, and for sure she will ignore you from then on.


Your Picture(s) Show A Child

Father and child

If you don’t explain in your description that the child is or isn’t your own, more often than not we will assume the child is yours. There are women out there who wouldn’t mind the fact that you have your own child, especially if those women have children of their own. However, there are some of us without children that don’t want to someday be a replacement mommy, and even worse, be a part of the baby-momma-drama (if the mother of the child is in their life or still alive herself). Things happen–perhaps you had a child with the wrong person. This is perfectly understandable. Just be straight-up about who the children are in your photos.


Your Picture(s) Shows Other Women

Archive Manager james.feltham@itv.com 0207 157 3052

I’m talking another woman that looks like they could be your girlfriend/spouse. If they’re not, like if they’re your cousin, sister, or just a friend, make it known in your bio. If it looks like you have a girlfriend/spouse already, especially women who want a single guy would certainly stray away from you. The purpose of a dating site is for dating you, so take pictures of yourself, not with other people (this would also be confusing if you have pictures of you with other guys, as we can’t tell which one is you). If it’s pictures of you being surrounded by women, it does NOT make you look more attractive. If anything, it makes us feel a bit jealous, or that we have to compete for you, which is not in our biology (only men have this need to be the best out of the other men).

I hope this list helps out in all your online romantic endeavors.

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