If you have an introverted significant other, then you know she can be hard to read whether you are extroverted or introverted yourself.
We women tend to analyze the actions of our spouses a lot. Sometimes even saying a certain thing a certain way can upset us–tone of voice, expressed non-verbal emotions, et cetera. We can’t help it–our emotional, analytical skills have been useful in creating meaningful connections since the dawn of time. Introverted women are especially sensitive to non-verbal communication. These reasons can apply to any woman, however. Here are some reasons why she could be angry with you, and how to fix it.
1. You ignored her texts, IMs, or calls.
You’re a busy guy. Or, you love your video-games a bit too much. She hasn’t heard from you in a whole day or two, and naturally, she becomes worried. She may already know that you bought a new Battlefield game, or have been stuck in that level in Halo for a long time, or that you have soccer practice four days a week–she gets it. To her, however, unmentionable scenarios may be playing in her head, or she may feel a bit insecure that you don’t care all that much about her.
To fix this, all you really have to do is send her a text or a quick call saying that you love her (if you’re not at that stage yet, then say you miss her). It doesn’t have to be a full-blown conversation. If you know you’re going to be at practice for a while longer than usual, tell her–or tell her that the game you’re focused on isn’t any more important than she is. It’s just that you need to concentrate, then you will call her back or IM conversationally again. Communication is very important, and if you dissapear for a while without telling her why, emotions can brew. (By the way, gamers, this is very important if your SO is a gamer herself, and she sees you on Steam or another social gaming platform playing a game rather than returning her messages).
2. You don’t show her as much affection anymore.
This one is a toughie. Whether you know this or not, women require a lot of attention, especially those on the less socially inclined end of the spectrum, as they tend to be more sensitive than average. They want to know that they are special to you, and sometimes, they may need validation that you are still crazy about them just like they are about you. You don’t have to necessarily show affection 24/7, but if it’s been a while since you’ve last said the L word, it’s understandable why your woman may seem a bit off.
As I’ve mentioned, shyer women read more into body-language. All you have to do is surprise her once in a while with a romantic gesture, something as simple as brushing her cheek with the back of your hand before leaving for work, wink and smile at her as you pass her down the hallway on your way to the bathroom, hold her pinkie under the table at a family dinner or while studying, or something on a grander scale such as hugging her from behind while she’s cooking, or when she least expects it. Saying I love you can lose its meaning when said too often, but romantic actions can keep your shy-girl from second-guessing.
3. Your tone of voice is different compared to what you say.
You can’t really help this one, guys. You may be irritated from work, annoyed by a family member, or something happened that angered you that you simply don’t want to talk about. If she asks if you’re okay and you say, “yes, I’m fine” in a way that says, “f*** off”, she may take it personally and get upset herself.
One way to assure your lover is to, one, tell her that it’s not her and that it’s something that happened earlier. If she’s the type of person that will urge you to tell her what’s going on when you don’t want to talk about it, just tell her exactly that–you don’t want to talk about it. If she insists, try telling her that you will talk about it when you’re ready. If she’s the understanding type, she will let it go and be patient–however, don’t make promises, because more than likely she will bring it up in a later conversation about what happened.
Whatever the situation is, be a bit mindful of your actions as well as your words. If your woman is upset with you, ask her–and if she says she’s fine but her body-language says otherwise (crossed-arms, pouted lips, crossed legs, her chest leaning inwards instead of outwards, rigid composure, etc), ensure her that she can trust you. If anything, she will tell you eventually–if she’s too stubborn to tell you right at that moment, it will come up with time. If she makes you figure it out for yourself, she is being passive-aggressive, and that is an immature way to make you feel guilty.